Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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