she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize