he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Randomize
