I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
