five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
