Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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