I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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