He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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