I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize