i think my mom watched the whole time
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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