we're chasing vodka with high fives
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize