I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
