But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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