You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Randomize
