matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize