I feel great
I just peed on a car
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
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