I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
