The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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