Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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