covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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