Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Randomize
