hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize