My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Your cock deserves a montage
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize