There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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