I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
