I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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