the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
