Kareoke will never be a sober sport
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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