I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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