umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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