There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
