none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
