He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I just gift wrapped bread.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
