i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
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