when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
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If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
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I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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