I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
