dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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