Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
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If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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