When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
