that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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