you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
