break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
