This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
