that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I feel great
I just peed on a car
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
