She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
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