it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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