turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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