Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
