i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
