She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
