in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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