Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize