When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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