i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Randomize
