In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize