Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Randomize