so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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