Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
