Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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