i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
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