Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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