dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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