____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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