So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
