Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
