Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
