Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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