whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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