Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
