It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize